Magazine review

People August 1 with J Lo on the cover-

*A few readers wrote to the MailBag about the "breakup" of Brad and Emily from the Bachelor. one stated "Maybe things would have been different had Emily and brad met in real life rather than on TV." I could not agree more. As I said in my last post, reality romance is unrealistic. Another reader writes that Emily needs to "dust herself off and get on with her life." Away from any offer to meet men on the television- for her sake and especially that of her young daughter.
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*There is an article titled Elin Nordegren Dating! I love that there is an exclamation point, like we should be surprised that she is seeing new men. She has not been with Tiger for a while now (thank god) so it should not be a surprise that she is going out with someone new.
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*An ad for Excedrin Migraine makes me need to remind people that the active ingredients in this medication and regular Excedrin are EXACTLY THE SAME!!!! Do not be fooled by the "choices" companies give you- you likely only need one headache medicine, type of toilet paper, dish soap, face wash, shampoo, cereal, etc...
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*Another reality/game show- Take The Money And Run. The ad asks, "Where would you hide $100,000?" My answer- my bank account :)
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*The cover article titled What Went Wrong? ponders the demise of J Lo and Marc Anthony's split. My opinion (yes, I know no one asked for it but here it is anyway)? Hollywood couples who have tons of money and can likely afford to not work ever again or at least less than they do, choose to do too many things that take them away from each other and the marriage breaks down, especially when the "through thick and thin, in good times and bad" bows are not abided by. I also think that marriage happens to quickly for a lot of these people- they don't really know each other that well and then are apart a lot or traveling too much (even traveling together can be stressful). Slow down. Get to know one another. Plan life slowly. Then maybe things will work out.
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People August 8 with Amy Winehouse on the cover-

* All I have to say about Amy is that I am very sad that she died and I hope her parents' broken hearts heal peacefully and swiftly.
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*A reader writes a letter to MailBag that echo my sentiments about Angie Harmon ( I wrote about her in the last post). The reader writes, "While I understand Ms. Harmon's being "miserable" when she is away from her family for long stretches, no one is forcing her to star in a TV show. Sometimes, no matter how much we protest, our choices reveal out true priorities. Angie should quit whining and confess that this is what she really wants to do." Amen, sista!
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*Kim Kardashian has filed a lawsuit against Old Navy, claiming they used a Kim lookalike who is being photographed by paps. Her charge? That the commercial has "created confusion...in the minds of the consuming public" about her association with Old Navy. Okay, Kim? First of all, NO ONE thinks you shop at Old Navy. Second? She (her name is Melissa Molinaro) is clearly not you, not identified as you, has different color hair than you... Get over yourself and your frivolous lawsuit.
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*Well, they didn't even make it to divorce. My least favorite "celebrities" have broken up before getting married. Kat Von D and Jesse James have ended their engagement. At least he can't cheat on another wife now, that is until he inevitably gets engaged again.
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*An ad for K*Y* Intense catches the eye with the word CLIMAX in bright pink letters. It states at the bottom of the page "Turn your little o into a BIG O". I say O Gross. I really don't need an ad selling me sex products, even scientifically proven ones, such as this (well, that's what it says in the fine print). You can even go to a website, IntenseEffect.com to see what other women are saying about their "bigger, better climax". Sounds mind blowing, right? No, that is really what it says. Barf.
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*On the Passages page, a report states that actor Eric Dane "briefly checked in to rehab" to get off pain pills. Now, since "briefly" is not defined in this case by a specific number, like 2 weeks or 6 months, we don't know how long he was in. But to me, rehab should not be brief. Hopefully he is recovered, but I would not be surprised if he enters rehab again because his demons have not been conquered.
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*Yeah! An ad for Premarin, a cream for menopausal or post-menopausal vaginal dryness!!! Does that mean women who use this won't need that KY jelly I talked about earlier??? Jesus, keep the genital problems at the doctors' office and out of my magazines. Oh, and the pic in the add is a vase full of wilted pink Gerber daisies with one in the middle standing straight up, like a erection. Classy.
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People Aug 15 with Bachelorette Ashley and JP, her new fiance on the cover-

*New reality show- Most Eligible Dallas. "The Brightest Lone Stars in the State.". Please God, make these shows stop!!
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*San Diego is in People again, this time as the story of the deaths at the Spreckels mansion is discussed. I am sure I have seen this house on Coronado but I don't know exactly where it is. A tragic story for sure.
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*Ashley and JP's article is titled Worth the Risk. What risk? That you will break up? You will. That you will be humilated on TV? You were (Ashley was). That you will not be rich and famous? You won't, at least not for any longer than the required 15 minutes. That you will fade away only to be back in a few years for Celebrity Lovers Who Met On An Island And Now Have To See Each Other Again With All The Other Celebrity Lovers On Another Island Where You All Have To Live In A One Room Shack And Outwit/Outplay/Outlast Each Other? You might.
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*This week's issue has ads for an overactive bladder med and one for depression. Is this because a bunch of women who bought the KY and Premarin are now leaky and sad because there significant others now know that sex is an option and are taking advantage of it?? Heh.
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*okay, on that note, I am caught up. See ya in a month or so!!

Magazine review

It has been a while so time to catch up:

July 11 issue of PEOPLE with a bachelorette on the cover-

*Once again, a reader is disappointed that a old-time star who died was not given a bigger recognition. James Arness died and was given a brief mention a few issues ago but one reader feels he was shafted. And I say, once again, James Arness is not relevant anymore. Yes, he was on Gunsmoke forever but I would bet that a vast majority of readers have no idea what Gunsmoke is (I never watched it) or who Arness was, People paid him a small tribute and that, in my mind, is satisfactory.

*There is a picture of the Smith family in Star Tracks and Jada is sitting spread-eagle in her chair next to her children. She has a smug look on her face that says (to me), "Look how cool my family and I are." Yuck. She looks so unladylike.

*A small article talks about Shannon Tweed wanting to leave Gene Simmons. I wouldn't blame her if she did. I am surprised she has stayed as long as she has. He, to me, is a slimy lothario. But he says he is not going to let her go. He has a lot of work to do to keep her, IMHO.

*The Bachelor's Emily says that her breakup with Brad Womack was her "worst nightmare." The more I ponder these romantic reality shows, the more I come to the realization how fake they are. My first thought when I read this was, "Well, what does she expect? She is looking for lasting love on TV." Then it hit me: this is not reality. These people want attention and want a chance in Hollywood and they are ACTING!!! Just like all the fights on Jerry Springer. These people get paid, get exposure, and get endorsements. It is easy money and easy fame, even if short-lived. And the stories sell the mags so it is a win-win for the "lovelorn" and the publishers. So, I will now make sure to have my shaker of salt with me when I read these articles.

*I think Jennifer Aniston's new boyfriend, Justin Theroux, is HOT!!!

*Peter Falk got a full page memorial (hopefully, enough for any irritated readers) and I just have to say that his line to his grandson at the end of Princess Bride is one of my all-time favorites and it makes me cry every time I see it. "As you wish."
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July 18th PEOPLE with Jaycee Dugard on the cover-

*Bristol Palin has written a memoir called Not Afraid of Life. Hmmm. Another book I will not be buying any of my conservative relatives for Christmas. In September, we get her baby daddy's autobiography. Now his I might read.

*What can I say about Jaycee Dugard? What an incredible person she is. The pictures of her in the mag and on the cover with genuine smiles and a content face make me so happy for her. I know she will likely suffer psychological problems for the rest of her life, but like Elizabeth Smart, I know she will be okay. I cannot imagine the joy her parents felt when they were reunited with their daughter. Jaycee's resilience is amazing as is her story. She is an inspiration.

*In contrast to the obvious love between William and Kate in pictures of their wedding day, pictures of Prince Albert of Monaco and his bride are lacking in the head-over-heels department. In a pic of then walking the recessional, she looks sour and he looks unsure. There were rumors that he had fathered yet another love-child while he was with his now-wife so it is no wonder she looks unhappy. In his vows, he thanked his bride for "putting up with my inconsistencies and idiosyncracies...". Maybe this is a good sign, though. Marriage is supposed to be through thick and thin, good times and bad. If only more people remembered these vows (myself included).

*Ad time- Sparkle paper towels are compared to an elephant in that they both have the ability to "soak up spills." but only Sparkle has "Thirst Pockets." Wow!!! Let me rush right out and buy some because my regular paper towels are just paper!!! Oh No!!! Wait, so is Sparkle. Don't be fooled. Paper towels are paper towels and if I have a spill big enough for "thirst pockets", I will just use cloth towels. Sheesh, the tyranny of choice.

*An article about Rizzoli and Isles actress Angie Harmon has her speaking to her homesickness as she films her show 2000 miles away from her home in North Carolina. She has 3 young daughters and a husband that she leaves behind for months so she can "work." She says it is hard to be away from them? I am sorry but boo f'ing hoo. Get a job at home. She has money (in the article, she is shopping and spends $837 on clothes) and so does he. She is not being forced to work in Los Angeles. Go home and be with your kids until they are older and don't need you around as much. Be with your husband. I know I mentioned sticking through good times and bad in the previous paragraph but this does not count in my book. There is a very easy solution to her "problem."
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July 25th PEOPLE with Duchess Catherine on the cover-

*Storage Wars!!! Yeah, another reality show. I am working on a pilot for my show, So U Wanna B an RVT. Ha!

*Scoop has a casting call in this issue for a prequel to Sex and the City. Selena Gomez as Charlotte? No- Selena is Latino and Charlotte is a WASP. Blake Lively as Carrie? Mmm, maybe. She is too tall in my opinion and just doesn't quite fit. Annalynne McCord as Samantha? Okay, I can see it. Emma Stone as Miranda? Not sure. Emma is a bit too spunky and happy for Miranda but then again, she is a good actress.

*This issue chronicles the Royals' trip to North America and I must say, there wasn't a single outfit Kate wore that I didn't like. They were all perfect. I especially liked the dress she wore to the polo event, the gown she wore for the BAFTA awards, and the skirt/blouse she wore on the flight home. That girl needs to eat a bit though- she is SKINNY!!!!!

*An article about Casey Anthony asks "What's next?" How about she disappear, change her face and her name, and reemerge as a new person somewhere small and quiet. She will be like OJ otherwise: a pariah, and outcast, a hated person. She has no choice but to hide.

*San Diego gets some recognition is the travel section titled Play in the Sand. The U.S. Open Sandcastle Competition is picked along with sandcastle comps in Vancouver and Amagansett, NY as a top spot to see some of the coolest beach sculptures in the world. Yo Yo Yo San Dee Eggo!!!!

That's it for this time. See ya in a few weeks...:)