Nine years ago today

*Nine years ago I was a student at SDSU.
*Nine years ago my sister had moved to Albuquerque.
*Nine years ago I was working at Animal Hospital of La Jolla.
*Nine years ago I had developed Panic Disorder.
*Nine years ago I had not met Jason yet.
*Nine years ago I had been to Oakland to see Madonna in concert with Robyn.
*Nine years ago my cats were Kittonian, Krispy, Quilvio, Mama, Lambert, Pooter, and Jellybean. Ashes and Rascal may have been around and I had put Sheba to sleep on 9/10/01.

**Nine years ago I was sitting in the hallway waiting for my Music for Teachers class to start. I heard some people talking about a plane crash and asked them what had happened. That is how I found out about the planes flying into the World Trade Center. I didn't find out much more until after class when the administration made everyone leave campus. Christine and I drove in her car to have lunch at Marie Callendar's and I saw everything as a replay on the big screen TVs. I was horrified. I thought that a hundred thousand people would be dead. I cried. I wanted to know what happened. I was glad I did not see ANY of the disaster on television live. It was bad enough seeing it after it had already happened.
I remember the looks on the faces of the people in that picture where they are all running from the huge cloud of debris and dust and smoke and chaos as one of the towers collapsed. I felt horrible for them, having to be there in NYC, in the middle of terror. I wanted to drop everything and go help, just like a lot of people but especially since as a vet tech, I have medical skills. I remember watching TV with my dad that night and both of us crying. I lit candles that I kept on the front porch. I taped the flag insert from the newspaper to the window. I thought the world as we knew it was over and it was. I wrote this in my journal:

9/11/01
Tues

Today was the worst day
& most shocking day I
have ever experienced in
my entire life on this
planet.

This is unimaginable.
My heart aches for
everyone <3 (heart)


My heart still aches. I am still sad. I still cry when I see pictures or videos of that day. I have seen Ground Zero and paid my respects. I would like to do the same at the Pentagon and in that field in Pennsylvania where some of my fellow citizens died being brave. I will always remember what happened nine years ago.