Magazine review

It has been a while so time to catch up:

July 11 issue of PEOPLE with a bachelorette on the cover-

*Once again, a reader is disappointed that a old-time star who died was not given a bigger recognition. James Arness died and was given a brief mention a few issues ago but one reader feels he was shafted. And I say, once again, James Arness is not relevant anymore. Yes, he was on Gunsmoke forever but I would bet that a vast majority of readers have no idea what Gunsmoke is (I never watched it) or who Arness was, People paid him a small tribute and that, in my mind, is satisfactory.

*There is a picture of the Smith family in Star Tracks and Jada is sitting spread-eagle in her chair next to her children. She has a smug look on her face that says (to me), "Look how cool my family and I are." Yuck. She looks so unladylike.

*A small article talks about Shannon Tweed wanting to leave Gene Simmons. I wouldn't blame her if she did. I am surprised she has stayed as long as she has. He, to me, is a slimy lothario. But he says he is not going to let her go. He has a lot of work to do to keep her, IMHO.

*The Bachelor's Emily says that her breakup with Brad Womack was her "worst nightmare." The more I ponder these romantic reality shows, the more I come to the realization how fake they are. My first thought when I read this was, "Well, what does she expect? She is looking for lasting love on TV." Then it hit me: this is not reality. These people want attention and want a chance in Hollywood and they are ACTING!!! Just like all the fights on Jerry Springer. These people get paid, get exposure, and get endorsements. It is easy money and easy fame, even if short-lived. And the stories sell the mags so it is a win-win for the "lovelorn" and the publishers. So, I will now make sure to have my shaker of salt with me when I read these articles.

*I think Jennifer Aniston's new boyfriend, Justin Theroux, is HOT!!!

*Peter Falk got a full page memorial (hopefully, enough for any irritated readers) and I just have to say that his line to his grandson at the end of Princess Bride is one of my all-time favorites and it makes me cry every time I see it. "As you wish."
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July 18th PEOPLE with Jaycee Dugard on the cover-

*Bristol Palin has written a memoir called Not Afraid of Life. Hmmm. Another book I will not be buying any of my conservative relatives for Christmas. In September, we get her baby daddy's autobiography. Now his I might read.

*What can I say about Jaycee Dugard? What an incredible person she is. The pictures of her in the mag and on the cover with genuine smiles and a content face make me so happy for her. I know she will likely suffer psychological problems for the rest of her life, but like Elizabeth Smart, I know she will be okay. I cannot imagine the joy her parents felt when they were reunited with their daughter. Jaycee's resilience is amazing as is her story. She is an inspiration.

*In contrast to the obvious love between William and Kate in pictures of their wedding day, pictures of Prince Albert of Monaco and his bride are lacking in the head-over-heels department. In a pic of then walking the recessional, she looks sour and he looks unsure. There were rumors that he had fathered yet another love-child while he was with his now-wife so it is no wonder she looks unhappy. In his vows, he thanked his bride for "putting up with my inconsistencies and idiosyncracies...". Maybe this is a good sign, though. Marriage is supposed to be through thick and thin, good times and bad. If only more people remembered these vows (myself included).

*Ad time- Sparkle paper towels are compared to an elephant in that they both have the ability to "soak up spills." but only Sparkle has "Thirst Pockets." Wow!!! Let me rush right out and buy some because my regular paper towels are just paper!!! Oh No!!! Wait, so is Sparkle. Don't be fooled. Paper towels are paper towels and if I have a spill big enough for "thirst pockets", I will just use cloth towels. Sheesh, the tyranny of choice.

*An article about Rizzoli and Isles actress Angie Harmon has her speaking to her homesickness as she films her show 2000 miles away from her home in North Carolina. She has 3 young daughters and a husband that she leaves behind for months so she can "work." She says it is hard to be away from them? I am sorry but boo f'ing hoo. Get a job at home. She has money (in the article, she is shopping and spends $837 on clothes) and so does he. She is not being forced to work in Los Angeles. Go home and be with your kids until they are older and don't need you around as much. Be with your husband. I know I mentioned sticking through good times and bad in the previous paragraph but this does not count in my book. There is a very easy solution to her "problem."
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July 25th PEOPLE with Duchess Catherine on the cover-

*Storage Wars!!! Yeah, another reality show. I am working on a pilot for my show, So U Wanna B an RVT. Ha!

*Scoop has a casting call in this issue for a prequel to Sex and the City. Selena Gomez as Charlotte? No- Selena is Latino and Charlotte is a WASP. Blake Lively as Carrie? Mmm, maybe. She is too tall in my opinion and just doesn't quite fit. Annalynne McCord as Samantha? Okay, I can see it. Emma Stone as Miranda? Not sure. Emma is a bit too spunky and happy for Miranda but then again, she is a good actress.

*This issue chronicles the Royals' trip to North America and I must say, there wasn't a single outfit Kate wore that I didn't like. They were all perfect. I especially liked the dress she wore to the polo event, the gown she wore for the BAFTA awards, and the skirt/blouse she wore on the flight home. That girl needs to eat a bit though- she is SKINNY!!!!!

*An article about Casey Anthony asks "What's next?" How about she disappear, change her face and her name, and reemerge as a new person somewhere small and quiet. She will be like OJ otherwise: a pariah, and outcast, a hated person. She has no choice but to hide.

*San Diego gets some recognition is the travel section titled Play in the Sand. The U.S. Open Sandcastle Competition is picked along with sandcastle comps in Vancouver and Amagansett, NY as a top spot to see some of the coolest beach sculptures in the world. Yo Yo Yo San Dee Eggo!!!!

That's it for this time. See ya in a few weeks...:)

A-Z Things I Love

A- Abby the dog at my work
B- baseball
C- Chik'N Nuggets
D- Dominic Howard of MUSE
E- extracting rotten teeth
F- french fries
G- green grapes
H- historic landmarks
I- ice cream
J- Jason Jacintho
K- kicking ass at Jeopardy
L- loose pants
M- Macfarlane, Seth
N- nice people
O- otters
P- pumpkin seeds
Q- quarries
R- road trips
S- Stewie Griffin
T- Target
U- United States
V- vegetables
X- xrays, looking at
Y- You
Z- Zoological Society of San Diego

Things I Hate A-Z

I am in a bit of a grumpy mood and tired of some people and some things and I feel like making a list of things that I hate/despise/gross me out/am sick of so here it goes.

A- arrogance
B- boogers, especially other people's
C- cart leavers. How lazy can you be?!?!?!?!?
D- dumb people
E- egg yolks, especially raw. Make me want to vomit.
F- (my) fatness
G- Glenn Beck
H- hot, humid weather
I- inconsiderate people
J- jazz (smooth)
K- Kobe Bryant
L- long lines at Starbucks, Disneyland, anywhere
M- mushrooms
N- new shoe blisters
O- Oakland Raiders
P- procrastination (my own)
Q- quiet talkers. Speak up so I can hear you!!!
R- ringworm
S- sand in my camera
T- tarantulas
U- uncomfortable chairs, clothes, beds, pillows, situations
V- vomit
W- Woods, Tiger
X- xrays (positioning for)
Y- yawning
Z- zaps from static

Okay, I feel better. I'll post a list of A-Z loves/likes/faves later ;)

Magazine review #4

People 3/14/11 with Mr. Duh Winning on the cover

A reader writes in the MailBag that she is disappointed that People included "the phrase WTF in the Jennifer Aniston interview." The reader states that "her use of the vulgar term desensitizes a violent word and sets a poor example for our children." I am sorry, Elizabeth Myers from Westminster MD, but JA has no obligation whatsoever to set any examples for "our children". That is the job of parents. And since when is "fuck" a violent word? Get over yourself and police your kids.
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There is yet another ad for a new tennis/exercise/running shoe called REEZIG. Its tagline is "more energy." Reebok says, "Try the shoe with the energy boost. Its unique low profile sole is designed to transfer each step into a wave of energy." Really. So all I have to do is wear a pair of shoes for more energy? Couldn't I just wear any low-soled shoe and get the same benefit? I call bull$hit. And hooking the naive and uninformed consumer. Boo Reebok.
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There is a little snippet catching up with the Bee Girl from the Blind Melon video, No Rain. I remember hearing that song and seeing its video for the first time and loving it and thinking the Bee Girl was so cute and carefree. It is neat to see her grownup. She doesn't have the costume because it is hanging in a Hard Rock cafe somewhere!
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Okay, this is the Oscar recap issue so this is for Jenny- I knew Bale and Firth would win, I suspected Portman would, and I really wasn't sure about Melissa Leo's chances. I loved these dresses- Natalie, Jennifer Lawrence, Michelle Williams, Hilary Swank, Mila Kunis, Cate, Amy Adams, Hayley Steinfeld. I did not like- Claire Danes, Penelope, Nicole, Scarlett, Marisa Tomei, J. Hud, Sandra. I thought Helena BC looked great for her- she wasn't wacky like she usually is. I thought Anne Hathaway was a little too excited and giddy and that Franco was off beat but not horrible and certainly not stoned- I think he is just too busy and was super tired. Oh yeah- one more outfit that was absolutely HORRID- Madonna. No one wants to see your 50 year old ass, no matter how toned it is.
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People 3/21/11 with Mr. Tiger blood and his sons on the cover

There is a picture of Taylor Momsen in the StarTracks. She is wearing a Tshirt, no bottoms, thigh high stockings with a garter on one leg, and multi-buckle, knee high platform boots. Oh yeah, and one of the stockings has a hole. I wore stuff my mom didn't like when I was a teenager, like shirts with buttons safety pinned on (I did not and still do not like to sew) and shoes she thought were not fit for public viewing. And my mother would not let me wear black pants because they were, in her opinion, too mature. I have to wonder what Taylor's mom and dad think about her clothing choices? Granted, she is a celebrity and in a rock band, however, if she were my star singer daughter, she would have to wear decent clothes in public. She is 17, for crying out loud!!
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In the music section, we find ourselves "Catching up with Trent Reznor"- he has won an Oscar (Cool!!), is scoring the American version of Girl with a Dragon Tattoo (Cool!!), and says he will monitor, when the time comes, his baby son's music choices, including the NIN song Closer. "I want to F@#K you like an animal!!!!!" Maybe he could change the lyrics to "I want to tuck you into bed!"
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There has been so much Charlie Sheen stuff lately, including in this issue. I will just say that I feel sorry for his sons and his daughters. I miss the Charlie from Platoon and Ferris Bueller. I am grossed out that he has 2 girlfriends. I think he is nuts. I think that he is actually, duh, losing. He just doesn't realize it and when he does it will be too late. It is already too late for 4 of his 5 children to ever have a normal remembrance of their dad.
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There is a story about Michael Flatley (Lord of the Dance) and his huge-ass castle-home in Ireland. The place is 40,000 square feet, has a bar, a screening room, a 6,000 book library, 16 suites, a whiskey room, and wine cellars. I guarantee a reader will write in and get his/her letter published in the MailBag, complaining how over-the-top, garish, inappropriate, and greedy Mr. Flatley is for owning this "home" and how the money he spent on his palace should have been donated to charity instead. And I can guarantee I will disagree with the writer. Good for him, I say. He earned the money and should be able to spend it as he pleases.
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The last page of People for a while has been to feature a celebrity and have them tell us "5 Facts About Me." Amanda Seyfried states she was "in the IN crowd but I was the outcast, the loser of the crowd." While that may be true, I have a hard time believing most of these stars who say they were "ugly", "nerds", "losers", or "wallflowers." Be honest! Tell us you were popular, attractive, talented! Even the loser of the in crowd is in.

Overdue magazine review #3

It's been awhile and I have read many magazines since my last review. Here's a catch up.

February 7th PEOPLE with Reese W. on the cover:

Jesse James has asked Kat Von D to marry him and she has said yes- to a man who if he hadn't been busted cheating or had never cheated at all would presumably still be married to Sandra Bullock. Now he says that 2010 was a great year because "he fell in love with his best friend." Well, goody goody gumdrops for him, not. What a piece of shit! He states that "she is an amazing woman who stood behind me when the world turned their backs." Well, what did he expect? He humiliated and broke the heart of America's sweetheart. The world was supporting her and rightfully turning backs to him. I will not be surprised when I inevitably buy a PEOPLE in the future with a cover story about Mr. James cheating on his new Mrs.
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In the Passages section, there is a tidbit about Roger Ebert getting a prosthetic for his cancer ravaged face. I say thank God because his mug is scary lookin'!
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There is a new book out by a kid's dad (who is also a pastor) called Heaven Is For Real. The kid, after a surgical procedure, told his parents he had been to "the throne room of God" and had met his miscarried sister. The dad says, "A child is their wildest imagination could not invent that." Uh, yes they could, especially if he had heard stories about this deceased sister. The dad says his son's story was not lead by he and his wife, stating, "If this was your kid, what would you believe?" Umm, I would believe in his "wildest imagination." Give credit to the kid, not God.
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February 14th PEOPLE with Halle B. on the cover:

Halle and her ex are fighting for custody of their daughter Nahla. With my oft-used disclaimer that, of course, I know nothing about any celebrity except for what I read in magazines, it sure seems to me that Halle Berry has shit luck in the relationship department. And I am not convinced it is always the guy that is the problem. Everything about her split from Gabriel Aubry was fine until he went on a few dates with Kim Kardashian and now Halle "has serious concerns" when Nahla's dad takes care of her? I hope they work things out for the sake of the kid. And maybe Halle could take a break from her career and rebound relationship to focus on her daughter.
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There is an article in this issue about Princess Charlotte of Monaco, who is now 24 years old and I must say, absolutely beautiful. She is an accomplished equestrian with Olympic hopes who seems to be a grounded, modest person. Her grandmother and father would be proud, I am sure.
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February 21st PEOPLE with Jennifer A. on the cover:

New reality show alert!! Shedding for the Wedding. And no, it is not about making wedding dresses out of cat and dog hair.
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There is a pic in the Star Tracks section of Eva Longoria with her new boyfriend. She JUST got divorced!! I know there is no rule for when to start a new relationship after the end of a previous one, but Wow!! A la Jesse James, I would imagine that if it weren't for inappropriate texts by her now-ex Tony Parker, he and Eva would still be married?? People sure to tend to move on quickly these days!
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There is always a plethora of ads for medications in People. There are at least 2 for depression med-helper meds. Seroquel XR is one of the newest. Besides my many problems with advertising prescription meds, I have an even bigger issue: this ad says that if "you've been on an antidepressant for at least 6 weeks and still have unresolved symptoms of depression", you should ask your doctor for Seroquel. 6 weeks?? It took Paxil at least 4 before I felt better last fall. It definitely took more than 6 for my symptoms to really resolve. These med ads scare me: although I am definitely an advocate for medication, I am also an advocate for letting ONE medication try to do its job for at least 2 months before adding a new one. It bothers me that the pharm companies want so badly to make money off of other people's struggles.
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There is an article titled The Trials of Ruth Madoff. I am sorry that her son killed himself. I am not sorry that she is a "prisoner in her own world." I do not believe for one second that she didn't know what her slime bag, evil, piece of shit husband was up to. She is a "figure of hatred?" Yes! She is isolated from society? Too bad! Karma is a bitch.
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An ad for Quilted Northern TP claims that it is 50% percent stronger, holds up better, and helps your hands stay clean. Not to be too TMI, but I have been wiping myself for about 38 years now and HAVE NEVER had a problem with any toilet paper NOT keeping my hands clean. Are other people wiping with one square? Are they using their bare hands? Of all the many things we do not need in this society, we do not need toilet paper ads telling us we need thicker paper. But if you do use Quilted Northern and you do get pee or something worse on your hands, be assured, there is a Money Back Guarantee if you are not satisfied.
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That's it for now. I'll be back in a couple days for another review :)

Lucky

I am lucky because:

* I have an amazingly generous dad who loves me and makes sure I am taken care of.

*I have a smart, kind, supportive, and funny mom who loves me so much she doesn't know what to do with herself.

*I have a stylish, pretty, hilarious sister who loves and supports me no matter what.

*I have a boyfriend who finally realized he loves me.

*I have a group of co-workers who are more than that- they are my friends and I love them.

*I have a good paying job with full health coverage.

*I have a dependable car that gets 31-38 MPG, depending on where I am driving and if I have had the oil changed and tires pumped up.

*I have a roof over my head.

*I am relatively healthy.

*I have Paxil.

*I have seen MUSE in concert twice this year.

*I have Quilvio, Pigeon, Montgomery, Clementine, and Roger.

*I have my cousin Grace and my uncle Mark.

*I have two 90 year old grandparents who still have their faculties and who love me even though I am a Democratic atheist.

*I have an imagination.

*I can go the the San Diego Zoo whenever I want.

*I work with animals.

*I have friends I have known forever: since babyhood (Janika), 1977 (Hyla), third grade (Angie), and seventh grade (Karen).

*I live in San Diego.

*I love to read and my mind is always stimulated.

*I am me.

Magazine Review #2

Sexiest Man Alive issue of People:

Joan M. Schmitt complains in a reader letter that "people are starving all over the world, and [Kanye West] is talking...about replacing his lower teeth with diamonds and gold... Couldn't that money have been better spent providing food to those who have nothing to eat?" While I agree that KW's new, expensive teeth are over the top (I can't stand him either, BTW), he has absolutely no obligation to spend his money on food for the hungry. If he did, would it be nice? Of Course! Does he donate to charity? I don't know if he does but neither does Ms. Schmitt. So until she asks him what his charitable contributions for the year have been, she has no right to expect him not to spend his money on himself, however outlandish.
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There is a big article in this issue about the engagement of a certain royal couple. I found it so touching that Prince William gave Kate Middleton his late mother's engagement ring. Some people have said it seems weird or macabre or inappropriate. I think if she were still alive, I would agree but also think Wills would not have given the ring to Kate if his mom was still alive. With Diana being gone, it truly is his way of including his wonderful mom in his proposal to a girl who I think will make a poised and proper princess.
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There are 2 ads for shoes that "tone your muscles". One is for Reetone and the other is for Fitflop, the boot with the gym built-in. Reebok's shoe claims "better legs and a better butt with every step" and Fitflop says you will get 19% more quadricep activation, 30% longer bottom muscle activation and 16% more hamstring activation. I say you will see 100% of your money going to a sham product. Unless you are an active person, getting the right amount of exercise, and eating right, these shoes are NOT going to get you in shape. If I wear them to the refrigerator every time I fill my bowl with more ice cream or walk in them to the McDonald's counter and then pig out, they ain't gonna do me any good. So I will not ask Santa for any for Xmas.
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A touching ad for Make-A Wish features Patrick Henry high school, in San Diego. The kid who made the wish is Darren and he wished for new uniforms for his school's football team. This is awesome. I have no problem with sick kids wishing for a meeting with a favorite star or trip to Disneyland but this kid's wish, while fighting cancer, to help his school, is inspiring and heartwarming. Go Darren and Go PH Patriots!!!
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GW's book, Decision Points, is reviewed in this issue. I have only a few words about this: I have made an irrefudiatable decision point: I will neither read this book nor buy it for either of my grandparents, mom, or uncle for Christmas. Do not misunderestimate this statement. Thank you.
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Sexiest Men Alive:
Ryan Reynolds- yes
Leonardo- YES!!
Bradley Cooper- Yes!
Justin Timberlake- yes
Jake Gyllenhaal- Yes!
Chad Ochocinco- uh, YUMMMM!
Robert Pattinson- sure
Channing Tatum- No
Matt Leblanc- No
Michael Bolton- NO!!
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New Reality Show alert!!!!! The Hasselhoffs. You don't want me to "Hassel the Hoff?" Don't hassle me with ANOTHER show about a has-been actor with alcohol and parenting problems. I will let you know when I care.
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Okay, that's it for this edition. Tune in next time for more ripping of rehabbing celebs, royal rumors, and ridiculous Reeboks.